The idea of feedback-sandwiches is well known in the United States and Great Britain. I would say that if a feedback-sandwich is meant in an honest way, it can contribute to the digestibility of my feedback, but I´m still not sure if it really helps. Check it out yourself: (more…)
May 29, 2009
May 24, 2009
Feedback And Conflicts
Sometimes life just sucks and there might be somebody you would really like to give feedback about how he or she is messing up your life. If somebody used particular words or phrases that triggered strong feelings within you, you are invited to try this exercise:
Having a go at trying to shift your mind towards compassion could help to relieve some of your initial anger or frustration, so that your feedback will be in a way you don’t regret later…
May 19, 2009
A Note On Why To “Feed-Back” With More Words Than “Thank You”
If the feedback is positive, what’s wrong with just saying “Well done!”?
We all know this: people tell us “you’re great”, “well done”, “that was so nice of you”, and for sure we often feel happy because we hear that something about us, or something we did, pleases another person and makes them think we are great. However, (more…)
May 15, 2009
But I´m Right!
The colour-changing card trick: watch it, enjoy and read AFTERWARDS it’s relation to feedback under “more”…
May 10, 2009
BIFF and BOOST
These are some other steps you may want to try out when giving feedback. I heard about these ones as I often talk about feedback with other people – I don’t know who developed these models. Anyway, here you go, maybe they’re right for you!
When something doesn´t go as you would like, you can give BIFF-feedback (instead of a biff on the nose):
- B ehaviour (specific description of what the other person has done)
- I mpact (on me, others or an outcome)
- F eelings (how do you feel now?)
- F uture (how do you wish to improve this in the future?)
Another possibility (more…)
May 3, 2009
My Preferred Feedback Recipe
Let me introduce you to the feedback model that contributed most to my own feedback-style. It’s actually not really a model, but more like a helpful structure to focus on when we want to be in a state of empathy and understanding. It’s based on self-compassion and enables me to clear my mind and understand myself before giving feedback. Developed by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg this way of giving feedback is now applied all over the world and his teachings of compassionate communication are the most effective tool I know to create Win-Win solutions. (Compassionate Communication is a synonym for Nonviolent Communication, or NVC.)
Positive Feedback (when your needs are met):
April 26, 2009
What Is Feedback?
When using the word “feedback” in its original sense, it means to “feed something back” to the people around us – more than just our view of other people’s work, but often also of how we perceive them or their behaviour or how their actions affect us. Even a manager will face situations where (more…)
April 18, 2009
Good Feedback – The Most Nurturing Snack Ever!
Fed up with criticism?
But self-confident people are able to take it!
Yeah. It’s possible to accept what others think of us, our work, our appearance, our inner life, our decisions, our partner… . We can always try to make the best of it. “But why?” I had to ask myself, when I started to question my own criticism style (I was an excellent criticizer - I would force people to agree and end up with those unpleasant feelings of shame, guilt or helplessness).
So, sit down, relax and have a banana smoothie, I told myself. Think about it. Why should I have to be playing tough, when there is another way to grow? There are ways to express criticism, they told me, which even create joy and happiness and enable us to excel ourselves: it’s good feedback!
This blog will be all about feedback. It will be a journey to explore the following questions:
- What is needed to give nurturing “feed-back”?
- How come it can make us so happy?
- Can I really bring so much joy to other people’s life?
- How can we change each other without changing each other?
- Hang on – will I be happier, too?
I’m so excited about my trip to the answers!
